Thanksgiving is just two days away, and since I can't spend it with my family, I plan to spend it with my new Chinese friends. None of them has ever celebrated Thanksgiving before, but all are eager to learn about this special American holiday. I am just as eager to share it, but am facing a few obstacles in my planning of the perfect Thanksgiving meal.
1. No oven. The vast majority of Chinese food is prepared on a stove top, so virtually no kitchens have ovens. This is problematic for Thanksgiving, since turkey, stuffing, pie, cookies, rolls, casseroles, and corn bread all are baked goods. Lucky for me, however, I was able to use my connections to procure a small toaster oven, and will be using that for my baking needs.
2. No baking soda or baking powder. That means no cookies, biscuits, or corn bread.
3. No cranberries = no cranberry sauce.
4. The toaster is too small to fit a bird inside, and I refuse to handle a turkey carcass anyway, so no turkey.
5. No baking pans. Anything baked needs to be placed in one of several small metal bowls.
With these five restrictions, my Thanksgiving menu has been whittled down to mashed potatoes, apple pie, and pumpkin pie (made from an actual pumpkin - no canned stuff here). I will also be buying some baked sweet potatoes - a Jinan specialty. In lieu of the turkey, I thought I'd make a hearty vegetable soup.
This all seems semi-acceptable until you look at my guest list. Turns out, I have a lot of friends. There's the woman who lent me her oven and her two friends - that's three. Then my grad student friends - seven. Then my kung fu friend, my running friend, and my cooking friend - ten. Plus there's another kung fu friend and her five (!) roommates who really really really want to come - sixteen. Add me, that's seventeen.
So let's review. Seventeen people. A toaster oven. A hot plate. My dorm room.
Wish me luck, because I'm gonna need it.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Boys
Gender roles are a lot more pronounced in China than in the U.S. Girls rarely play sports, except for maybe a casual game of badminton or ping pong. Frills and giggles are a must. Mixed-gender friend groups are rare. Girls are also considered to be generally weak. When hiking, a boy always has to be in front so he can offer a helping hand to the girl(s) behind him. If you're a girl carrying anything besides your purse (eg. bag of groceries, books, etc.), one of the boys you're with will immediately relieve you of the burden. Attempting to refuse these offers of assistance is seen as an insult to his manhood, and is akin to a slap in the face and a kick in the groin.
Another example. When a girl and a boy walk around together, the boy will position himself so that he is closer to traffic, thus "protecting" the girl. I was unfamiliar with this rule, so last night when I was walking around with a male friend, I was confused my his constantly scampering around me as we crossed streets and generally navigated traffic. When I expressed my confusion and my friend finally explained what he was doing, I must have looked surprised, because he asked me if boys in the U.S. watched out for the girls that they hung out with. (Unbidden, an image of a dancing cowboy came to my mind. Ahem. You know who you are.) I explained that in my experience, no, not really, gender equality blah blah blah.
The funny thing is that while on the one hand, Chinese boys are making constant claims to manliness by insisting on taking care of their female friends, on the other hand, they do tons of stuff that would be considered pretty girly in the U.S., like posing for cutesy photos, sporting sparkly charms on their cell phones, and having stuffed animal key chains.
And yet... One of my new friends just posted a series of male-centric "jokes" on the Chinese version of facebook, including this gem:
Guy 1: Aren't there any virgins on this campus?
Guy 2: Yeah - but they're all the unborn fetuses of our girlfriends.
Ummm...?
It's an interesting country this is.
Another example. When a girl and a boy walk around together, the boy will position himself so that he is closer to traffic, thus "protecting" the girl. I was unfamiliar with this rule, so last night when I was walking around with a male friend, I was confused my his constantly scampering around me as we crossed streets and generally navigated traffic. When I expressed my confusion and my friend finally explained what he was doing, I must have looked surprised, because he asked me if boys in the U.S. watched out for the girls that they hung out with. (Unbidden, an image of a dancing cowboy came to my mind. Ahem. You know who you are.) I explained that in my experience, no, not really, gender equality blah blah blah.
The funny thing is that while on the one hand, Chinese boys are making constant claims to manliness by insisting on taking care of their female friends, on the other hand, they do tons of stuff that would be considered pretty girly in the U.S., like posing for cutesy photos, sporting sparkly charms on their cell phones, and having stuffed animal key chains.
And yet... One of my new friends just posted a series of male-centric "jokes" on the Chinese version of facebook, including this gem:
Guy 1: Aren't there any virgins on this campus?
Guy 2: Yeah - but they're all the unborn fetuses of our girlfriends.
Ummm...?
It's an interesting country this is.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Shopping
Although China is famous for its large population, the Chinese themselves seem to be continuously surprised by the realities of living in a crowded country. Any excursion is guaranteed to include the phrase "Wow! So many people!" I often notice people shaking their heads when confronted with a crowd and then overhear them saying "Ugh - waaaay too many people" or asking no one in particular "How can there be so many people??" Luckily, I am culturally aware enough to nod my head wisely in response, as opposed to launching into my master's thesis on China's population issues and policies.
Why do I bring this all up, you ask? Well, both this weekend and last weekend I went shopping with some friends, bringing me face-to-face with what seemed like a non-negligible fraction of China's 1.3 billion people.
At no point during my shopping experience was I more than an arm's length away from a stranger. While out shopping, Chinese girls like to link arms, or even hold hands, something I had always thought to be a cute way of showing affection. In reality, affection has little to do with it. After about five minutes in the market, I was clinging to my friends for dear life, fearful of being swept away and lost in a maze of small clothing stalls.
Despite the crowds, I was able to make several successful purchases to help ease my transition into the world of Chinese fashion.
- blue plastic backpack. Although my friend encouraged the purchase of a backpack with a classy "Snoopy" design, I politely declined in favor of something a bit more conservative.
- brown boots with pom-poms. These were a steal at only $7. Nevertheless, I noticed when I brought them home that they're not exactly the same height. Oops.
- black "mop" scarf. So named because of its uncanny resemblance to the common household cleaning implement.
- gray skirt with pleather detail and fake pockets
While I admit that I initial harbored some misgivings about how my new outfit would be received, I was overwhelmed by the number of compliments I received when I wore it yesterday. Apparently pom-poms and pleather are in this year.
You heard it here first.
Why do I bring this all up, you ask? Well, both this weekend and last weekend I went shopping with some friends, bringing me face-to-face with what seemed like a non-negligible fraction of China's 1.3 billion people.
At no point during my shopping experience was I more than an arm's length away from a stranger. While out shopping, Chinese girls like to link arms, or even hold hands, something I had always thought to be a cute way of showing affection. In reality, affection has little to do with it. After about five minutes in the market, I was clinging to my friends for dear life, fearful of being swept away and lost in a maze of small clothing stalls.
Despite the crowds, I was able to make several successful purchases to help ease my transition into the world of Chinese fashion.
- blue plastic backpack. Although my friend encouraged the purchase of a backpack with a classy "Snoopy" design, I politely declined in favor of something a bit more conservative.
- brown boots with pom-poms. These were a steal at only $7. Nevertheless, I noticed when I brought them home that they're not exactly the same height. Oops.
- black "mop" scarf. So named because of its uncanny resemblance to the common household cleaning implement.
- gray skirt with pleather detail and fake pockets
While I admit that I initial harbored some misgivings about how my new outfit would be received, I was overwhelmed by the number of compliments I received when I wore it yesterday. Apparently pom-poms and pleather are in this year.
You heard it here first.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Crossed wires
I am not known for my neatness. While I am not a total slob, I adopt a fairly relaxed attitude towards household chores. Clean the bathroom? Eh - I'll do it tomorrow. Mop the floor? No one's inspecting for dust bunnies, what's the rush? Make my bed? Why bother? I'm just gonna sleep in it again in a few hours.
And so on.
Moreover, in my dorm, there are girls whose job it is to clean. They mop the floors of the common areas every morning at 6 am. They are responsible for wiping down every surface of the dorm, and they take their job seriously. My reasoning (until recently) was, maybe if I wait long enough, they will decide that in addition to cleaning the common areas, they will decide they want to clean my room as well!
Well, last Friday, my hopes appeared to be realized. On my way to my room after work, one of them stopped me, saying "Tomorrow morning, rest a bit, then in the afternoon we'll come in and clean." I contained my excitement long enough to say that tomorrow would be fine, then pranced off to my room, proud that my reluctance to clean had paid off.
On Saturday, I took their instructions to heart and lazed around my room for several hours before considerately vacating my room (to facilitate cleaning) and going to meet some friends. When I returned at 3:00 with my friend, I fully expected my room to be sparkling clean. Instead, one of the cleaning girls greeted me anxiously.
"You need to rest in your room so that we can clean," she said, careful to articulate every word.
Me, smiling: "Yes, yes, okay."
Her, again: "No, you need to rest so that we can clean."
Me, starting to look confused: "Yeeeesss..."
She shakes her head in exasperation. "You need to rest" (here she pretends to be gathering something) "so that we can clean" (she makes a fist and moves her arm up and down).
I look at my friend in confusion. She is laughing, and clears things up with: "You need put away your stuff so that they can paint."
Ohhhhhhhhh.
Dadgummit.
So anyway, instead of relaxing in my freshly cleaned room on Saturday afternoon, I frantically gathered all of my belongings and threw them into a suitcase so they would not get covered in paint.
Needless to say, my room was not cleaned. In fact, when they finally finished painting at around 9:00, my room was in worse shape than it started in. My bed had been taken apart and was left standing vertically in the middle of the room. The curtains had been taken down and were crumpled in a pile in the corner. My desk was covered in dust and paint, and my floor was covered in mud, dust, and paint. My bathroom, which was not painted, had been used as a storage area for other things that would not be painted. Such as chairs. And suitcases. Because the entire room reeked of paint, the considerate painters had opened the windows for ventilation. So now, not only was the room dirty and smelled bad, but it was also even colder than usual.
I was less than pleased.
To reconcile myself to the fact that a deep cleaning was clearly needed, and that no one would be doing it but me, I reminded myself that if I had in fact cleaned earlier, I would be all the more upset about the post-painting state of my room. So I guess I was right all along: being a slob does pay off.
And so on.
Moreover, in my dorm, there are girls whose job it is to clean. They mop the floors of the common areas every morning at 6 am. They are responsible for wiping down every surface of the dorm, and they take their job seriously. My reasoning (until recently) was, maybe if I wait long enough, they will decide that in addition to cleaning the common areas, they will decide they want to clean my room as well!
Well, last Friday, my hopes appeared to be realized. On my way to my room after work, one of them stopped me, saying "Tomorrow morning, rest a bit, then in the afternoon we'll come in and clean." I contained my excitement long enough to say that tomorrow would be fine, then pranced off to my room, proud that my reluctance to clean had paid off.
On Saturday, I took their instructions to heart and lazed around my room for several hours before considerately vacating my room (to facilitate cleaning) and going to meet some friends. When I returned at 3:00 with my friend, I fully expected my room to be sparkling clean. Instead, one of the cleaning girls greeted me anxiously.
"You need to rest in your room so that we can clean," she said, careful to articulate every word.
Me, smiling: "Yes, yes, okay."
Her, again: "No, you need to rest so that we can clean."
Me, starting to look confused: "Yeeeesss..."
She shakes her head in exasperation. "You need to rest" (here she pretends to be gathering something) "so that we can clean" (she makes a fist and moves her arm up and down).
I look at my friend in confusion. She is laughing, and clears things up with: "You need put away your stuff so that they can paint."
Ohhhhhhhhh.
Dadgummit.
So anyway, instead of relaxing in my freshly cleaned room on Saturday afternoon, I frantically gathered all of my belongings and threw them into a suitcase so they would not get covered in paint.
Needless to say, my room was not cleaned. In fact, when they finally finished painting at around 9:00, my room was in worse shape than it started in. My bed had been taken apart and was left standing vertically in the middle of the room. The curtains had been taken down and were crumpled in a pile in the corner. My desk was covered in dust and paint, and my floor was covered in mud, dust, and paint. My bathroom, which was not painted, had been used as a storage area for other things that would not be painted. Such as chairs. And suitcases. Because the entire room reeked of paint, the considerate painters had opened the windows for ventilation. So now, not only was the room dirty and smelled bad, but it was also even colder than usual.
I was less than pleased.
To reconcile myself to the fact that a deep cleaning was clearly needed, and that no one would be doing it but me, I reminded myself that if I had in fact cleaned earlier, I would be all the more upset about the post-painting state of my room. So I guess I was right all along: being a slob does pay off.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Freezing
While in many respects a capitalist economy, China still likes to remind its citizens that they are in fact living in a communist country. One of these gentle reminders is government-provided heat. The government of Shandong is the sole provider of heating services to local universities, including the one in which I live and work. The Shandong communist party decides by decree when the heat will be turned on. In past years, it was November 5. This year, for unknown reasons, the start date was pushed back to November 15. Saturday.
I don't actually have a thermometer, so I don't know what the exact temperature is in my room, but I would estimate that it's been in the low 50s or upper 40s for the past week or two. In other words, it's really cold. I try to avoid being in my room as much as possible by lingering over meals, "working" long hours, and imposing myself upon others in their dorm rooms. Nevertheless, every night I am forced back to my room to sleep. I have taken appropriate steps to protect myself from the icy air. For example, right now, I am wearing:
a chunky pair of banana yellow, hand-knit woolen pants
regular fleece pajama pants
socks, tucked into pants
long sleeved t-shirt
bright pink striped woolen turtleneck
heavy wool sweater with hood
I am also wearing these:
You can imagine, therefore, how pleased I was when my friend surprised me with an impromtu visit last night, catching me in my nighttime garb. I guess she felt bad for her uncontrollable laughter though, because today she stopped by with two new blankets to add to my collection.
Two more days. Wish me luck.
I don't actually have a thermometer, so I don't know what the exact temperature is in my room, but I would estimate that it's been in the low 50s or upper 40s for the past week or two. In other words, it's really cold. I try to avoid being in my room as much as possible by lingering over meals, "working" long hours, and imposing myself upon others in their dorm rooms. Nevertheless, every night I am forced back to my room to sleep. I have taken appropriate steps to protect myself from the icy air. For example, right now, I am wearing:
a chunky pair of banana yellow, hand-knit woolen pants
regular fleece pajama pants
socks, tucked into pants
long sleeved t-shirt
bright pink striped woolen turtleneck
heavy wool sweater with hood
I am also wearing these:
You can imagine, therefore, how pleased I was when my friend surprised me with an impromtu visit last night, catching me in my nighttime garb. I guess she felt bad for her uncontrollable laughter though, because today she stopped by with two new blankets to add to my collection.
Two more days. Wish me luck.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Superstar
When I found out that my favorite Chinese girl band, S.H.E., would be performing in Jinan, I knew I had to get tickets. When I found out that a boy band known as much for their good looks as for their music would be performing as well, it was the icing on the cake.Convincing my friends that they should come with me to the concert was easy. Getting tickets was much more difficult. I quickly learned that procuring tickets is a three-step process.
1) Find a scalper. Ticket scalping is common and widely accepted by all branches of law enforcement. When we got to the stadium where the concert was being held, about half of the people milling around outside were shifty looking men who would sidle up to us, pretend to be intensely interested in something in the distance, then surreptitiously flash a few tickets in their jacket pockets.
2) Haggle. Once we expressed some interest in the tickets, the seller would say a number, representing the price. My friend would respond with a harsh cackle, or a snort, then she too would present to be interested in something off in the distance. The seller would then say, "well, how much do you want it for?" My friend would then say a ridiculously low number, at which point it was the seller's turn to snort. This would go back and forth a few times, until either one of the parties walked away in disgust, or a price was agreed upon.
3) Get the tickets. We were a rather large group (7), so sometimes the seller wouldn't have all of the tickets on his person. In these cases, he would need to go "to the back" or to get them "from a friend". This tended to make us a bit suspicious, so we would usually send two or three people with him, to make sure he didn't try any funny business. Sure enough, more often than not, the tickets would not actually exist. Once, the seller actually ran away from us right before handing over the tickets. (And I mean full on Forrest Gump type running.) So this part of the process was not as easy as it might sound.
It took us about an hour and a half to successfully get tickets, and another fifteen minutes to find the entrance to the stadium. At this point, the concert had already begun and we were anxious to get inside and join in the fun. In true Chinese fashion, however, we were stopped by the security guards on our way in. Why? Because the tickets we spent so much time and effort purchasing turned out to be fake. Luckily, the security guard felt sorry for us, especially "the really excited foreigner", and let us in anyway.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
O-ba-ma
The post-election atmosphere on campus can only be described as subdued. While most students and faculty followed the election, many did not have a preference between the two candidates, and of those that did, few could give me a concrete reason for their choice. (Unless you count "Obama is handsome... and so thin!") To better exemplify what it's like to talk politics in China, I thought I would share with you a word-for-word excerpt from one of my recent conversations with a professor.Me: what do you think?
SQ: no special feeling, but I think it is a improvement in US history, at least you all select a blackman as president
SQ: it is a chance for US, and for the world, I really hope the relation between China and US would be changed greatly
Me: changed in what way?
SQ: Whole
Me: whole? what do you mean?
SQ: all aspects, politics, economic, education
Me: are you unhappy with china's relationship with the u.s. now?
SQ: there are some problems, especially on politics
Me: what political aspects of the relationship do you hope will change under obama?
SQ: hehe, I don't know, such as the Taiwan issue
Me: what do you think obama could do to help that issue?
SQ: now looks like you are the vice president
At first I was somewhat surprised/insulted that there wasn't more interest, but then I remembered that I can barely name the top two leaders in China, and if asked to analyze their policies...forget about it! So I guess I'm just another annoying, self-centered American. But apparently I'm qualified to be vice president, and hey, that's something.
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