Paradise: Found

Imagine a world in which all of your friends and family members live within a few miles of your home. A world where kids regularly ride their bikes to their friends' houses without worrying about being abducted on the way. Where neighbors regularly stop by just to chat, and friendly neighborhood card games are a popular after-dinner pastime. This is a world in which families eat all of their meals together, and in which every meal is made with freshly picked organic vegetables from the garden.

Welcome to a rural Chinese village.

Before you start packing your bags and joining the approximately 87 million others living in this rustic paradise, note that some may claim that the lack of certain modern conveniences cast a shadow on this wholesome, down-to-earth living experience. These party poopers might point out that the typical village bathroom is an open air slosh pit that doubles as a maggot breeding area compost heap, and that water has to be hand-pumped from a well in the yard. But what these pessimists don’t realize is that many of these so-called "inconveniences" are actually advantages.

For example, sure, the floor might be made of dirt, but hey! No need to mop or vacuum! And yeah, no computers, but who needs the internet anyway, with all of your friends and family living so close? If you want to know what's going on in the world, just turn on the TV and tune in to one of the three government-sponsored news channels available.

Another advantage of village life is that you no longer have to spend all of your time in a sterile office reliving scenes from "The Office" and complaining about lack of lumbar support. In the village, you can connect with nature by spending your working hours gardening, or as they call it, "farming". Sure, this may occasionally involve some tiresome tasks such as planting seeds, fertilizing, spraying toxic chemicals, and weeding, but on the bright side, you'll get to work on your tan. And hey, if it rains, go ahead and take the day off, God’s treat!

Sounds pretty idyllic, no? And if that’s not enough, real estate is dirt cheap: for less than $5000 you can set yourself up in a sweet crib with all of the amenities I’ve mentioned here.

Who’s with me?